Mother wants Grandchildren

Jack

My mother has always been a pain in my life, literaly. She put me through years of abuse when I was an infant and thank God all that I remember are random parts from this time in my life. She and I recently reconnected and one of the first questions she had was if I had a girlfriend and if we were planning to have children. Now I have always been a shy person and very reluctant to approach a girl but at the time I had a girlfriend and we were going along just fine until my mothers question. I have since then broken it off with my girlfriend and have yet to return to dating, not because of the heartbreak but because of what my mother said about me having children. She often tells me that she can't wait until she has grandbabies. I scratch my head at this because she couldn't manage to be part of my life back when I was a child and now she wants to have another batch of children to have another chance. My question is how do I tell her that I don't want her to have anything to do with any children I have in the future? Thank you for your advice.

Anonymous

maybe she screwed you over but she is still your mother. Dang, you only have one. Why on earth would you cut her out? That's not right.

Anonymous

okay the comment above me.. asshole, and you should fucccck off!
anyways.. She is your only mom, so you shouldnt really cut her out, buuuut then again, a good mom who loves you wont do that to you. Honestly i would probably cut her out of my life completely, because that would be a lot earier than having to break that news to her!!! and another thing.. dont ever let someone pressure you into having kids, until you're ready! Keep your head on and make sure you're ready first, you'll make a much better father than your mom was a mother, Good luck with your future, I hope it all works out for you :)

Anonymous

If your mom isn't responsible and you don't trust her, then you have a right to be concerned. I think its admirable that you care enough for the sake of your future children to protect them from what once hurt you. This is you life, and you can be better to your own children than your parent was to you. I find people who do that are extremely admirable and contribute something very good to this world we live in. I really can't tell you whether you should cut her out of your life or not, but I encourage you to make the decisions that are best for you. You are young, and you should do what will make your life most happy and successful. Don't be bound by your past. You have a right to enjoy these things. I do not know to what extent the abuse was or what kind of person she is now, but I can only tell you that if you do not think you can be happy and have a girlfriend and think about your future because you ABSOLUTELY cannot trust your mother, then honestly that sounds okay with me. Also, I wouldn't be too hesitant to reconcile with my gf and tell her the truth if you really think she will understand and have empathy for you. I wish the best to you.

Mother wants Grandchildren

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