My divorced boyfriend excluding me from "Family" functions

Jill

Summary History
My boyfriend has been divorced for almost 9 years. We have been together pretty much after his divorce. His ex-wife also met someone around the same time and they are still together. Me and my boyfriend have lived together part time for two years and full time for the last 3years. His ex wife and boyfriend have lived together for two years. We all have kids from our previous mariages and I get along very well with his ex wife and have played a big part in taking care of her two boy when they are at our house which has always been the majority of time.
We have been having some trouble with one of my boyfriends sons and though he is living in our house I am not part of any of the care that is going on with his son. It is a serious problem and since I am first hand at witnessing what is going on you think it might be important for me to play a role in his intensive care. Instead I am being excluded and being told it is for him and his ex wife to deal with even though the troubles are going on in my house. I have been told it is none of my business. I finally asked I be part of this and I get some information some of the time of what is going on.
I also was told yesterday that my boyfriend, his ex wife and other son are going to parents weekend at their other son's college. What?? I even went to the older son's parents weekend 4 years ago, now all of a sudden the "family" is going.
I don't want to kid myself and I think this is not right and that I am not family at all. Am I over reacting?

Anonymous

No, I don't think you're over reacting. You should be included. You're family too. It's wrong that your boyfriend is excluding you. Tell him how you feel, ask to be considered. Express your concerns for the boy as well. Hopefully he'll understand. Good luck

Anonymous

I believe saying something to your boyfriend is essential. You are now involved in a family and if you aren't being recognized as a parent by your boyfriend then there's a chance that the son may not think that you were there for him and you don't really care about him.

Anonymous

You are overreacting. You are a girlfriend not part of that core family. The family is obviously dealing with an issue, and making you feel comfortable can not be front and center, the children must be. It is fine to tactfully share with your boyfriend how it makes you feel, but do not force yourself into parent/child events or discussions. Mishandling this may result in an end to the relationship, if that is not acceptable then you should considering finding a less complicated partner.

My divorced boyfriend excluding me from "Family" functions

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