Teenage Drinking Mistakes

Friday night I was at a sleepover with a bunch of girls. And we went to this thing.. And we met these guys there. And we're like oh their cool so we cave the cute one my number. And then later that night at like 12 they were trying to get us to come drink with them. And we were all like uh no thanks. And then her older sister and her girlfriend went to iHop and when they came back at like 1am they were all "Theres these two drunk boys at the corner." And we peeked our heads out the door and we knew it was them so we went outside for like 2 minutes and went and like talked to them and they were POUNDED like stumbling. And so like we thought it would be funny/ and safer before they did something dumb to take their bottle. And we were gonna pour it down the sink in the morning. So we hid it in the basement until we could get rid of it. But then the boys came RINGING her doorbell at 1am when her parents were asleep! And they told her mum that we stole their bottle from them and whatnot. And we're all like omg her parents are gonna think we were drinking! And her mum came downstairs and freaked out (obviously) and thought we were drinking and she was like where is the bottle give it to me now. And everyone was so scared. But I stepped out of the group and was like "We weren't drinking I swear. They were just so drunk" And I like didn't know where the bottle was hidden so I kept asking the girls like where is it where is it? And nobody stepped up. So I eventually found it and gave it to her. And continuously told her she could smell our breath if she wanted but none of us had drunk a drop of anything illegal. But she didn't listen and went upstairs and told the girls dad. And they came downstairs and he dad was like "Look I know what drunk looks like and none of your are drunk and I don't believe that you were drinking at all. But you understand we need to inform your parents that we confinscated a bottle and stuff even if you weren't drinking. And you girls should never have left this house" and I was like yeah of course thats totally understandable and thats totally okay. And so I texted my dad and like called the house phone and told my mum everything before they could call her cause I wanted her to hear it from me and stuff like obviously cause Im so close with my parents and I would die if they didn't trust me. So I told her the whole story and she was like "Okay I believe you stop crying just put me on the phone to her mother" so they talked and like 3 girls got picked up at 2am and then the rest stayed. And everyone was freaking out. And I got home and my mum is just like "You will be punished for this and I just don't understand how this even happened but it was just so so very stupid of you" and then she told me to start doing chores and that they weren't part of my punishment I just need to start helping around the house more and so I did them and I saw my dad and he hugged me and he was like "It was just so dumb of you ... So so dumb. I believe you and I know your not that kind of kid and you still have your mother and my trust but we do need to sit down and talk about this. Because it is very serious and we need to figure out a punishment" And I was like crying and I just kinda handed him my laptop and phone and was like "Here take them. I deserve even worse. It was the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life. I don't know what I was thinking. Im so so sorry daddy. I love you."

EXCEPT...
That not the truth...
Thats what I told my parents.
We were going to drink.
*I* was going to drink.

I didn't want to lose my parents trust forever. Over one stupid choice. I didn't drink anything. I was the one who stood up and even though I didn't know where in the hell the bottle was I went to go find it anyways. I was freaking out. Because I. ME. I made an extremely bad decision. That was the dumbest thing I ever did in my life. And Im never going to do anything like it again in high school. Because its not who I am or who I want to be. I was curious. And wanted to know what it would be like. To drink. To sneak out. To be "bad". Because Im ALWAYS the good one. And yeah. Im not gonna lie. I was trying to be something and someone I wasn't. But if anything it has just shown me that that is not me or someone who I want to be. And I am so so very sorry to anyone who was involved in the situation. Im sorry to my parents for breaking their trust. Im sorry to her parents for putting them in a bad situation. Im sorry to everyone for ME making bad choices and me fucking up really bad. But Im also sorry to myself. Because I put my future in danger on Friday night. It was so stupid of me to even leave the house. If I had gotten caught out past curfew. Or especially caught in possession of alchohal. That would have ruined my future. And thats not me. Im sorry. Im really really sorry. And my god I know it was stupid. Jesus you don't even understand how stupid I feel. I don't think it was right. I don't think it was okay. I am dumb. I am young. I do make mistakes. That was the biggest mistake of my life. It's not gonna happen again. I feel like the dumbest bitch on the planet for that night. I still start to freak out when I even think about it. Because the more I think about it. The more it becomes blatently obvious to me that it was by far the stupidest thing I ever did. And I feel so bad for lying. But you don't know how much my parents trust and they mean to me... if I lost their trust (which I jeopardized completely by my actions on Friday) then I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'm not going to do it again. I have lost all interest. I just am so disappointed in myself for making those choices and being such a cliche.

But I can't handle it.
I tell my parents everything.
Its eating me alive to have lied to them.
But I feel like coming out and telling them now...Would only hurt them more.
And at school people are finding out and asking me if I got drunk and whatnot.
I just want it to all be over...
What do I do...?
Please help me.
I'm slowly going crazy because of this...
I don't even know whats worse... That I was going to drink this young. Or that I lied to my parents about it...
I feel like such a waste of life, cause Im such a disappointment as a daughter.
Tell me what to do...