Stuck in a rut, I feel like my life is going nowhere.

Jill

So I'm not even sure which category to post this in, I feel frustrated with every aspect of my life. I'm a prime example of "When it rains, it pours." So growing up I didn't really have a parent around for guidance my parents were fighting for the longest and didn't even sleep in the same room... My mother would rarely be home during the day to avoid my father and my father would be glued to the computer from the time he came home to his bedtime. I really felt the need to have a close family... But I had anything but that. I also have 2 older bothers that are about 7+ years older than me, so they weren't around much either. I never had any other family around and I would look to friends to find that feeling of "family comfort". My parents divorced when I was about 14, it was a nasty divorce... I won't go into too much detail but my father left and I never heard from him since (I'm now 22). I'm kind of ranting but I'd like to get to my current feelings of hopelessness and frustration... I was working for a good company for about 3 years, but I was laid off in June 09. I've been working since I was 16, I've pretty much depended on myself financially since then also. My mom provided a roof over my head but I handled my other expenses. I'm feeling really depressed with my loss of income, although I am collecting unemployment checks they aren't enough to pay my bills and credit card debt. Bill collectors call daily and I feel hopeless... I feel like I don't know how to take care of anything in my life. I feel like I didn't get much direction or guidance as a kid and now that I have to be an "adult" I'm not sure how to take care of business or motivate myself to do what needs to be done. I don't have many friends, I have problems trusting people because of my past. I just want to be happy with my life, but I feel like there's too many road blocks. I don't really know what the question is, it's more of a rant... I just need guidance, where do I start?

Anonymous

Jill we've all struggled at some point, but the fact is you are an adult now and you need to take control of your life. You can and will get through this!!! You just need to say to yourself enough is enough, I want to live and enjoy my life, so get motivated! No one can do it for you... and no one will take care of the bill collectors for you either, so you need to get some form of work and start chipping away at your debts. This will make you feel good and responsible. Also you will probably meet more friends in a new job.

I think the important thing is to realise that your past is the past, nothing in the present can change that, and no job etc will really care about that and give you any special treatment because of it... The point being that blaming your past won't help you in your future. Your energy would be better spent focusing on positive goals that you can set yourself and track, like this week I will find a job... this week I'm going to pay X off my debts... this week I'm going to make a new friend... etc. Each week ask yourself did I achieve that goal, yes, no, if no then why not? What do I need to change in order to achieve it? Then make that change, and retry. Live, learn, live, learn etc.

I hope this helps,

Good luck!!

Anonymous

ive been through the same type of situation.when i was younger i was being molested by my uncle and my dad used to beat me and my mom and told me he didnt care about me and then him and my mom divorced.i had a pretty rough childhood and then a couple of years ago i felt like commiting suicide cause i was depressed and lonely and i thought i wasnt gowing anywhere,but then i accepted christ into my life and i also had a motto "never give up" and now i still have problems just like everyone else but i am doing so much better then i was.so never give up youll get there eventually but remember that the past is the past and you cant change it but you can change your future

Anonymous

Maybe you should talk to a priest or a therapist (or both). If you feel hopeless, both of these types of people can really help.

As for work, try to get a job doing something you love. I'm a guitarist and I will do everything in my power to make a living doing music. Your employment shouldn't just be about money. Otherwise you will continue feeling like you're going nowhere.

Stuck in a rut, I feel like my life is going nowhere.

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